“I came up on Saturday Night Live, that was where I cut my teeth. Because of that, I’ve never, ever, ever been the funniest guy in the room. I wouldn't want to feel or be any other way. I never want to look around and feel smug or think wow, I’m just the best here, nobody else compares. I’m not delusional! The chase is what keeps me hungry. The hunger is what keeps me sharp. Without it, I would be just another jerk trying to show everybody up. I'd like to think that when I interview people, they feel at ease. They're comfortable. They know I'm not going to come after them or make them a punchline. We're all friends on set. I want my guests to succeed. That's how it'll always be.”
Anonymous said:
Do you know why he's never talked about his father in interviews before?he's only mentioned his father in an interview once before, to explain why he doesn't talk about him. here’s an except from his 2011 interview with the new yorker.
“Grein’s father made quick work of filing for divorce after his son’s birth, a move his mother speaks of bitterly to this day, and the reason Grein has remained gun shy on the subject for so many years. “It really upset her because he was her first love, and she thought they were forever, and it turned out forever was more like two years,” Grein explains without looking up from his coffee, and for a moment I think perhaps I’ve upset him. The moment passes almost immediately. When he looks back up, he’s smiling. “My mother reads every interview I do, she’s so diligent about it, and if I can spare her a little sadness in reading about my father then of course I’m going to do that. Of course. After everything she’s done for me, saying “next question” is the absolute least I can do. People think I grew up fatherless, and out of respect to him I’d like to say for the record that I didn’t, but I don’t see any reason to talk in depth about someone who didn’t necessarily have a strong influence on the way I was brought up or the person that I am.”
Artie Grein celebrates his Tonight Show anniversary with a GQ&A
How has your family taken to your public persona?
I’m the same person I’ve always been, so I don’t think there’s necessarily a disconnect there, I’ve never marketed myself as a different person. It’s strange that people do seem to recognize me more now or maybe it’s just that being on earlier in the night means there are more older people acknowledging me in public. People my age, or people my mother’s age, that’s new for me. They tend to be more brazen about asking for photos or kind of pushing their kids forward to get a picture, and that’s really cool! It’s exciting for me, and I’m never going to turn anyone down for anything that takes a half second of my day, but it does bother my sister when I’m out with her. She’s a get up and go type woman, as soon as there’s any sign of lollygagging then she starts clearing her throat and rolling her eyes and tapping on her invisible watch. I guess she would call it bothersome. She hasn’t taken to it too well, but she’ll get used to it or I’ll fire her and hire a new sibling. I have that kind of power now.
So you haven’t had any regrets about taking on the big job?
No. No regrets at all.Outside of the Tonight Show, are there any roles you regret taking or passing on?
The other day I was running late for a meeting and I was kind of sprinting, probably looking like the biggest nerd, and somebody yelled after me “Run, Forrest, run!” and I yelled back, “Hey, buddy, go fuck yourself!” and I regret that. The role of the frazzled early morning commuter, I regret that role. Professionally, every role I’ve ever taken has been a stepping stone to the next, so even if something wasn’t critically acclaimed or financially successful, I don’t regret it. No way.
What was your first gig like, as a comedian? Do you remember it?
I remember this so well. It’s actually what inspired our Worst I Ever Bombed web series, because it was my first real job and might have been my last real job if I hadn’t gotten over my trauma. What happened is a friend of mine pulled some strings for me at the ripe age of eighteen, and got me a gig at a comedy club I’d been going to for years. I showed up with all my jokes written out, bullet points and all, and I just got on stage and started reading them. I hadn’t memorized a single word, and I remember my palms were sweating, so there was this disgusting sweat print on the paper that I was hyper focused on. I just started reading. I couldn’t look up, I couldn’t do anything. I’d never been on a stage before that moment, I had no idea why I was so convinced I would be great. It was worse than losing my virginity, it was worse than anything I’d ever experienced at that point, but I was glued to that spot. After about a minute and a half, I adlibbed that the audience was probably regretting not bringing tomatoes, and then someone threw a fry at me. I was dunzo. I side shimmied off stage and fled the bar, stopped answering the phone for two days. That was my first and worst gig.
A lot of people make note of the fact that your mom, Patricia Grein, was actually a cast member on Saturday Night Live back in the seventies and early eighties. Is she the person who’s influenced you most?
Yeah. Yeah, of course. A long time ago, my agent asked if I wanted questions about her black listed from interviews, and I really just shrug that kind of talk right off. I love talking about my mom. She’s the most spirited woman in the world, the coolest person, and she’s inspired me every day starting from the day I was born. She was the person who practically broke my door down after that first gig and gave me the best lecture, just the greatest lecture, she told me that everyone fails and the people who always succeed are the ones who don’t have any stories to tell, that too much success can be boring. Nobody likes that person, right? Nobody wants to sit around listening to somebody talk about how they’ve always had it so easy! Not even me! I really took that to heart, not only in comedy but in life. Every fuck up is a chance to laugh. Every screw up will eventually be something you’ll look back on and smile at, and if you tell yourself that in the very moment that it happens then you’ll be able to keep going. Power through, dumbass! Wise words from my mom.
The next Tonight Show host is out there right now. What do you have to say to somebody looking to get into your field?
Be yourself. It sounds so lame and so trite, but I didn’t get to where I am via mimicry. I’m not trying to be Jay or Johnny or Conan or Dave or anybody, I’m just trying to be the best version of myself that I can be, and that’s what’s going to be your ticket too. Be you. You’re the greatest.
artie & fans, 4.11.14
fan: can you write “ew” on my arm?
art: yeah, of course, why? is this for instagram?
fan: no, i want to get it tattooed. i love the skit so much and –
art: tattooed permanently on your skin?
fan: yes, yes. tattooed.
art: wait. what? you want ew tattooed on your skin permanently? (fan nods yes) no. no, i can’t. i’m so sorry, no, i have the stupidest tattoo and i don’t want to contribute to… not that i think your idea is stupid! i don’t, i promise i don’t, but i don’t want you to do anything regrettable. you’re way too young! how old are you?
fan: nineteen but honestly i –
art: i’m so sorry, i really can’t. i would just have nightmares about it, i would wake up thinking about your arm, and how in ten years you'll be really upset that you have to go get it lasered off because i did something dumb and actually wrote that on your arm. i can’t… i can’t. here’s your pen. don’t hate me, okay? promise? (fan nods) okay, thank you.
Anonymous said:
what do you think about all the weight loss? :( i'm worriedit’s none of our business, it’s damaging to speculate about another person’s health. please stop sending me asks about weight loss and theories about drug use, there are other places to talk about things like that. this is not one of them.